Woodloch Pines Resort

The honest review

Woodloch Pines — officially The Pines, Family Resort at Woodloch — has been owned and run by the Kiesendahl family on Lake Teedyuskung since 1958, and it operates on a model almost extinct in American resorts: genuinely all-inclusive, activity-programmed family vacationing. Meals and the overwhelming majority of activities are in the rate, and the daily schedule runs thirty-plus options deep — the famous family game shows and Olympics-style competitions are the signature, alongside lake swimming and waterskiing, go-karts, mini golf, rock climbing, archery, and nightly entertainment. In winter the same machine pivots to snow tubing and ice skating. The result is consistent top-1%-on-TripAdvisor standing and a USA Today 10Best #1 family resort ranking, sustained by families who rebook the same week annually for decades.

What this is not: a waterpark resort. There are no slide towers here — the water is a private lake on a 1,000-acre wooded property, and the entertainment engine is organized human activity rather than infrastructure. Families deciding between Woodloch and Kalahari or Camelback are really choosing between two vacation philosophies: structured togetherness versus self-directed thrill capacity.

Lodging runs from hotel-style rooms and suites up to multi-bedroom guest homes with full kitchens scattered across the property — the homes are the move for multi-generational groups, though exact sleeping configurations vary enough that it's worth calling reservations rather than guessing from the website.

Pricing needs honest framing: rates are per person, per night, with a 7.5% tax and an 18–20% service charge added, so the sticker math for a family of four lands well above a standard hotel night. The counter-math is that it replaces every meal and essentially every activity fee for the length of the stay — comparisons only work at the whole-trip level. The location in the northeast Poconos lake region (Hawley, PA) is about two and a half hours from New York City, and genuinely remote once you arrive; that isolation is part of the product. One important distinction when booking: The Lodge at Woodloch, a mile away, is the family's separate adults-only spa property — a different resort entirely.